Paint my house
July 15, 2009

A man is sitting in a bar when a beautiful woman walks up and whispers in his ear, “I’ll do anything you want for 50 bucks.

He puts his drink down and starts going through his pockets. He pulls out a ten, two five’s, a twenty and ten ones.

He thrusts the wadded up money into the woman’s hand and says, “Here…paint my house.

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A woman and her chihuahau
July 13, 2009

A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy. A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks. He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, “Whoa, I don’t remember eating that!

Plastic Surgery?
June 29, 2009

A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, “Hey, you don’t need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery.

The lady asks, “How do I do it without surgery?

Just rub toilet paper between them.

Startled the lady asks, “How does that make them bigger?

I don’t know, but it worked for your ass.